Now I'm 34 and she's 21, so there is some age difference. We've been together for 4 years, living together for 2 years. When I was growing up, the values that were instilled in me were very simple: work hard and then work harder. Share. If your son or daughter is your biological child, stepchild, foster child, sibling, step-sibling, or a descendant of any of these individuals, you can claim him/her as your dependent, but the child can’t turn 19 at any time during the tax year (age 24 if a full-time student). #15 I’m financially dependent on my partner. Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. I looked for work, but he managed to find fault with any place that offered me employment. We see each other every Saturday, but … But the thing is, I just don’t know if he’s motivated enough to even do anything about it. Not living this way was to fail and to let people down. I’m starting to have regrets about our relationship. Which has brought up the question, why am I dating someone I don’t want to live with? I have to cook perfect dinners every single night. Learn more about this decision. Are you willing to shoulder all the burden all the time when difficult situations arise? I was all over it—that is until I entered into a wonderful relationship and became financially dependent. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. She lives with us and helps me financially support him.. 26. Still, there’s something truly satisfying about saving up and treating yourself to something special. close. She does not pay any of the bills, her name is not on any of the important paperwork, and she also does not do any of the chores necessary to have a somewhat clean house. We started dating in September of 2020. You might like the guy but doing all of this for someone else is a waste of time and most of all, your energy that could be directed towards someone who is willing to work, has transportation, has enough money to at least split the bill, etc. His mom sent him some funds to help cover the costs while he was staying with me, which was fine at first, but came much less frequently over time. I also don't think it's super uncommon to not have a car or his own place at that age but MOST have one or the other. If you don’t love your partner, you need to tell them that the relationship isn’t working out and that you need to … The fact that he has no interest in life beyond gaming all night and sleeping all day is really unattractive. The Smart About Money website will be retiring on July 31, 2021. To claim your child as your dependent, your child must meet either the qualifying child test or the qualifying relative test: To meet the qualifying child test, your child must be younger than you and either younger than 19 years old or be a "student" younger than 24 years old as of the end of the calendar year. I do not agree with the man who has answered this in great detail but without copmassion. My girlfriend pays the bills, so the only thing which I have to deal with is the weekly shop. Nonetheless, I do love a good dose of ownership and being able to stamp “mine” onto anything I’ve purchased. Hey all, first time posting here so not sure what to expect. I didn't believe in upholding that gender role. In fact, a study by the Centers for Financial Security found that 99 percent of domestic violence cases also involved financial abuse. But at what point is me worrying about her happiness killing my own. However, they won't always be … However, they won't always be entirely easy to spot. My concept of identity is tightly intertwined with money. But if you’re claiming your boyfriend as a dependent on your taxes, you have to meet seven requirements. recently, my girlfriend started taking loans and asking me to help her repay. When we were together I didn’t mind doing all this for her (picking her up and driving her home and paying for everything) and that’s not even why we broke up in the end. 4. My girlfriend and I live together the entire year. Let him know you're not comfortable with his financial dependency on you, that in seems like he isn't motivated for anything but games and that it makes you second guess the relationship. You're not a jerk if you decide you don't want to date someone who chooses to live like this. Exchanging money is what helps you feel like you’re taking an active part in creating your life the way you envision it. - Answered by a verified Tax Professional. 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